On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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