ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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