Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
