i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Still dying that you shit outside
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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