I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
