Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Boobs are out for the taking
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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