Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
