it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
