it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
