Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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