Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
