$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
