she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
