Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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