If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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