people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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