I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
