now i know why i became what i already was.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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