Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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