My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i've created a new STD.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
