would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
