To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
