he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
