This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
