my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
