her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
