I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
