hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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