I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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