We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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