break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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