Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
People in love make me want to vomit
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
