these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
