He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
