I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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