She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
