What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize