You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
