Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
