We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize