I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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