Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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