I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There's even glitter on my cock...
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