Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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