he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
