Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
