I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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