Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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