god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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