that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
