I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk is a universal language darling
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
