If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it glows. i had to have it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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