super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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