You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
