When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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