Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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