Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize