Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
