The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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