he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i will never coherently bang her
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
